This essay matter was seen in latest IELTS take a look at in India.
Some individuals say that an excessive amount of consideration and assets are given to the safety of untamed animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, the growing allocation of assets for the safety of untamed animals and birds has given rise to the query of whether or not or not it’s justified. Whereas some argue that these efforts are essential for sustaining biodiversity, others consider that the assets and a spotlight devoted to this trigger are extreme. Personally, I feel that humanity has different wants which might be equally worthy of funding.
The primary level to think about is that the disproportionate concentrate on wildlife conservation usually overshadows extra urgent human considerations. As an illustration, assets allotted for the safety of a single endangered species might probably be redirected to handle pressing human wants, similar to healthcare, training, or poverty alleviation. In creating nations, the place assets are significantly scarce, the selection to prioritise wildlife over important human points could be particularly problematic. For instance, in some African nations, huge sums are invested in defending sure wildlife species, whereas fundamental human requirements stay unmet for a good portion of the inhabitants.
Moreover, extreme concentrate on wildlife safety can result in unintended adverse penalties for native communities. Typically, conservation efforts contain limiting entry to pure assets that communities have historically relied upon, resulting in financial hardships. In elements of Asia, as an example, the institution of protected areas for tigers has typically resulted within the displacement of indigenous communities or restrictions on their entry to forest assets, that are important for his or her livelihoods. Not solely does this create battle between people and wildlife, however it additionally raises moral questions concerning the equity of such conservation methods.
In conclusion, whereas the safety of untamed animals and birds is certainly vital, putting a steadiness is essential. The present overemphasis on wildlife conservation, usually on the expense of addressing human wants and respecting the rights of native communities, suggests a necessity for rethinking. A sustainable strategy ought to take into account each environmental and human components equally.
Trainer’s suggestions:
General, the essay would probably obtain a Band 8. It successfully addresses the duty with a transparent place, is well-organised, makes use of a variety of vocabulary, and demonstrates a excessive stage of grammatical management.
Process Response: Band 8
The essay presents a transparent opinion and helps it with related examples. As an illustration, the author discusses the allocation of assets to wildlife conservation versus pressing human wants like healthcare and training, and the impression on native communities in Asia and Africa. To realize the next band, the argument could possibly be deepened with extra assorted views or options.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organised with clear paragraphing. Cohesive units similar to “Moreover” and “As an illustration” are used to attach concepts. For the next band, extra subtle cohesive units could possibly be employed.
Lexical Useful resource: Band 8
The essay makes use of a great vary of vocabulary, together with phrases like “disproportionate,” “unintended adverse penalties,” and “sustainable strategy.” To achieve the next band, extra exact and assorted vocabulary could possibly be used.
Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay demonstrates a mixture of easy and complicated sentence constructions with accuracy. Examples of complicated constructions embody conditional phrases (“might probably be redirected”) and relative clauses (“that communities have historically relied upon”). The grammar is basically correct, contributing to the readability of the essay.
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