Six years in the past I awoke with a nasty headache assault. My mouth felt like sandpaper. So did my eyeballs. I used to be hungover.
My household and I went to plenty of events that vacation season — I’m not complaining — however round New 12 months’s Eve I used to be craving a reset.
So I made a decision to surrender ingesting in January.
Again then, I didn’t know Dry January was a factor. Nobody in my social circle or household had ever talked about it. Giving up alcohol for the month was simply one thing I needed to strive for myself. The vacations had been over, the children had been going again to highschool and it was time to get again to the grind.
The primary 5 days with zero alcohol had been OK. Once I instinctively reached for a glass of wine whereas making dinner, I poured flavored water within the glass. It wasn’t the identical, however not that massive of a deal. And why wasn’t I all the time ingesting water from a elaborate wine glass?
Then Saturday evening rolled round. I went to a bar/restaurant to satisfy some buddies. Once I politely turned down a drink, the cheerful gathering felt extra like an interrogation.
“Are you pregnant?”
“Are you sick?”
“Are you pregnant … and sick?”
I used to be shocked by the depth of the reactions. Folks had been legitimately involved about me. I rapidly realized that my reasoning — a reset after the vacations — wasn’t adequate for them.
To everybody else it was easy: If I wasn’t ingesting, there was one thing flawed with me. Did I’ve a ingesting drawback? What was actually taking place? And the humorous half was that folks had been nonetheless shopping for me drinks the complete time — which, once more, I politely declined — and took it personally that I wouldn’t drink them.
I left the bar early pondering that this was going to be more durable than I assumed. Perhaps everybody was proper. If I haven’t got a ingesting drawback and nothing’s flawed with me, why am I doing this?
Then I remembered: I used to be doing this for me. I wasn’t doing it for anybody else. I set a purpose and needed to attain it for myself.
Melissa and her youngsters
With my purpose in focus, week two was simpler than the primary one. It felt good to get up with a transparent head and extra power. When Saturday rolled round I thought of simply staying dwelling and never socializing after all of the accusations from the weekend earlier than. Perhaps I ought to keep away from everybody for the complete month.
However I had an excessive amount of worry of lacking out (FOMO). I dwell in Michigan surrounded by household and buddies and there’s all the time one thing enjoyable happening. So I went out, ordered soda water and began to learn to socialize when everybody else was ingesting.
I nonetheless felt awkward at occasions and other people nonetheless gave me a tough time. Some feedback had been extra hurtful than others. That I wasn’t enjoyable or nobody needed to be round me if I wasn’t ingesting. I reminded them that I’m nonetheless the identical individual. I’m nonetheless enjoyable. However what folks thought of me being sober for slightly bit mattered much less and fewer because the month went on.
If the primary weekend was an 8 out of 10 on the tough scale, the third weekend was a 2. I used to be happy with myself. And I felt stronger. I train most days of the week however I discovered I’m extra formidable — I get after it extra — once I’m not ingesting.
On the finish of the month I assumed I might be excited to exit and have a drink or a glass of wine. However by that point it actually didn’t matter to me. I felt good realizing that if I needed to have a Dry January, I may. And every part can be simply high-quality.
In fact, as a result of ingesting’s a part of my social life, it may be arduous to not drink in any respect for a whole month. Some years, January appears like six months (thanks Covid!)
However I do it yearly as a result of I like the problem and I like how I really feel once I can accomplish a purpose I set for myself. And I do know it’s good for my psychological well being and my physique to take a break from time to time.
I now like to inform those that I’m not ingesting in January (generally sober September too) as a result of I feel it’s necessary to remove the stigma.
I feel many ladies go into social settings with buddies or through the holidays not ingesting and persons are genuinely involved. They’re upset. They’re dissatisfied that you simply’re not ingesting. Such as you’re not the identical individual. Like, boo, Melissa, you’re no enjoyable. And that hurts.
With extra folks embracing Dry January as of late I hope there continues to be extra positivity and extra alternative to speak about it with out judgment or leaping to conclusions (nonetheless not pregnant guys!).
I do know it may be arduous to not drink when everybody round you is pressuring you to do it. However if you wish to do Dry January or flip down a drink for any purpose at any time you’ll be able to. You’re nonetheless enjoyable Melissa. It doesn’t matter what my buddies say.
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Our Actual Girls, Actual Tales are the genuine experiences of real-life girls. The views, opinions and experiences shared in these tales aren’t endorsed by HealthyWomen and don’t essentially mirror the official coverage or place of HealthyWomen.
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