Thursday, June 6, 2024
HomeIELTSIELTS Band 5 Essay Samples

IELTS Band 5 Essay Samples


These are IELTS band 5 essay samples which have been given grades (of 5 or 5.5) and fundamental feedback on the rating for every standards by an skilled IELTS teacher. 


Matter: Unethical Promoting (Band 5)

A few of the strategies utilized in promoting are unethical and unacceptable in in the present day’s society.

To what extent do you agree with this view?

These days in worldwide nations, each second, we’re displayed ads on TV reveals, magazines or big LED boards located on intersections. In what strategies they’re produced or how a lot producers care about moral development to creating them? I consider they intent to have extra watcher to earn extra money regardless to its penalties.

In first standpoint, some households my doesn’t want one thing that’s displaying on television, however as residence spouse see the commercial will really feel that’s a good suggestion to have it and resolve to purchase it instantly. In one other case, there’s households who’ve younger offspring who mentally is just not smart sufficient to understand all the things in household state of affairs. Due to this fact, they may have excessive demand whereas they’re watching a brand new toy commercial. Begging his mum or dad to buy it and crying all time. Because of this his poor father will probably be lastly obliged to purchase the toy.

In second level, they could use psychological weaknesses; for instance, by displaying a younger woman with health physique who’s utilizing some stuff on present to draw individuals for the nice. It could apparently not so dangerous, but when we go deep in down will perceive that the way it might have an impact of youth mind and corrupt it.

Or by utilizing a captivating sentences on cigarette field “the best of a manhood” as an individual see this commercial on the field, will really feel himself on his goals and can purchase it.

In conclusion, the commercial makers, regardless to the dangerous results the promote might trigger on individuals, will made them resulting from make their clients satisfying. However it could have dangerous penalties on society which resulting from avoiding this development i recommend authorities make some plans for the circumstance to examine and management ads earlier than exhibiting up.

Feedback

Activity Response: 5

The essay expresses a place and concepts are introduced which can be associated to the query however the improvement is just not at all times clear. Some concepts are barely unclear resulting from grammatical errors.  

Coherence & Cohesion: 5

There may be proof of organisation however it’s not at all times clear.

Lexical Useful resource: 5

There’s a cheap vary of vocabulary with some examples good use of lexis. However there are too many noticeable errors in spelling and/or phrase formation that trigger some problem for the reader.

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 5

There may be proof of advanced sentences getting used however errors general there are frequent grammatical errors and these errors may cause some problem for the reader in a number of locations.


Matter: Computer systems & Kids (Band 5.5)

Utilizing a pc on a regular basis can have extra detrimental than optimistic results on younger kids.

Do you agree or disagree?

Trendy period is technological period. Laptop develop into a integral a part of our life. Children use it in some ways. For my part it has extra optimistic impacts than detrimental on younger technology.

Initially, Laptop assist the kids of their research. They search many kind of knowledge associated to their research by way of web. They get extra concepts associated to any specific matter which improve their information.

Secondly, it helps to enhance there expertise. With the assistance of social websites like fb, twitter they work together with their pals, kith-kin. It helps them to extend their functionality to speak with others. Furthermore, they develop into good of their work, they develop into literate in pc. Which might assist them of their profession additionally. Then in every single place is demand of pc it could helps to organisations to seek out good match for job. Then, they want to not skilled workers, they will get environment friendly individuals. 

Nonetheless, one of many main disadvantage is that it invite many well being issues amongst younger kids they spent lengthy hours in entrance of computer systems which impact on their eyes, weight problems is one other drawback for them. Moreover it improve hole between dad and mom and their baby they spent most of their time on pc slightly than speak to their guardian. 

In nutshell, I wish to say that even pc has many execs and cons. Mother and father ought to repair someday to make use of the pc and likewise limit on web sites.

Feedback

Activity Response: 6

You might have a adequate variety of concepts which can be introduced and defined. Some concepts although are inadequately developed or unclear.

Coherence & Cohesion: 6

There’s a sense of organisation and development within the response however cohesive gadgets generally is a bit mechanical and defective at occasions. 

Lexical Useful resource: 5

There may be an sufficient vary of vocabulary however there are too many errors. 

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 5

There are a number of points with the grammar, with many advanced sentences written inaccurately and numerous grammar errors, although these don’t usually impede communication. 


Matter: Exploitation of Animals (Band 5.5)

A rising variety of individuals really feel that animals shouldn’t be exploited by individuals and that they need to have the identical rights as people, whereas others argue that people should make use of animals to fulfill their numerous wants, together with makes use of for meals and analysis.

Focus on each views and provides your opinion.

Though some individuals consider that people ought to use animals to satify their totally different requirements, akin to feeding and researching, the variety of indivuduals that defend that animals shouldn’t be exploited in addition to shoud have the identical prerogatives as humankind is growing. For my part, animals ought to recieve a greater remedy and to not be abuse anymore.

Within the humanity historical past for hundreds of years it was frequent to make the most of animals for plenty of duties, like transportation. Most of them labored their total lifes with out stopping, struggling abuse. The animals have been domesticated simply to fulfill human requirements, with which most of individuals agreeded at the moment withou questioning.

However, extra recente research have proved that animals have emotions, not precisely the identical because the people, however some similars feelings. These days, it’s not vital anymore to make use of animals for jobs, for analysis and even for feeding. With the evolution, all of this want might be happy with the brand new expertise. For example, there are totally different technique of transport, even eco-friendly ones, additionally planty of different choices to substitute meat for nice and nutritive substances that not contain sacrifying animals.

Greater than this, animals ought to have acknowledged rights to guarantee them a wholesome and protected life, not precisely the identical as people, however legal guidelines to guard them that soak up consideration their points. For example in Brazil now we have some current modifications in regulation with the intention to forbid using animals in researchs and to penalize animals abuse.

In conclusion, I strongly consider that animals shouldn’t be make use of anymore to fulfill people wants. Moreover, animals will need to have rights acknowledge worldwide to assecure them a greater high quality of life, based mostly on the human regulation, noticed the peculiarities.

Feedback

Activity Response: 5

Your essay doesn’t actually reply the query satisfactorily. When you learn your physique paragraphs, little or no of it truly discusses the explanation why animals shouldn’t be exploited, or the arguments why they must be exploited to fulfill our wants. Your 2nd physique paragraph does a bit however the 1st and third don’t. Undergo among the ‘focus on two opinion’ pattern essays right here to see the way to reply one of these query.

Coherence & Cohesion: 6

Your essay is mostly organised okay. I can observe it with none difficulties and you’ve got used cohesive gadgets principally accurately. That is most likely the strongest a part of your writing.  

Lexical Useful resource: 5

Vocabulary is mostly okay and there are some good phrases in there however you’ve gotten too many spelling errors which brings it right down to a 5. For instance: satify, shoud, indivuduals, withou, and many others. I’ve a sense a few of these could also be typos from writing rapidly on a pc. However typos nonetheless get counted as errors so be sure to kind rigorously and examine your work.  

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 6

That is solely only a 6 as you do have fairly a couple of noticeable grammar errors, so you have to watch out. Nonetheless, I feel there’s simply sufficient good grammar there to advantage a 6. This as an illustration is a little bit of a complicated sentence: “the variety of indivuduals that defend that animals shouldn’t be exploited in addition to shoud have the identical prerogatives as humankind is growing” and you’ve got different errors akin to “most of individuals agreeded” (no ‘of’ and must be ‘agreed’).  


Matter: Educating Kids (Band 5.5)

It’s the duty of faculties to show kids good behaviour along with present formal schooling.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It’s argued that colleges ought to educate college students to be good individuals aside from offering formal schooling. I fully agree with this assertion as a result of kids spend lengthy hours at colleges, and oldsters should pay for tuition charges.

Colleges must be liable for educating kids to have good manners as a result of kids spend a big period of time at colleges. It is because when kids spend a whole lot of time with academics who normally act as position fashions for them, college students can study and imitate good manners. For instance, college students from probably the most well-known colleges in Thailand reported that they behave themselves properly as a result of their academics instilled good values in them whereas learning at colleges.

One more reason is that folks should pay for tuition charges, so that they count on their kids to develop into good individuals. This is because of the truth that dad and mom count on their kids to achieve success each professionally and personally. For example, worldwide colleges in Thailand cost dad and mom some huge cash, so their dad and mom count on their kids to be glorious not solely at tutorial topics, but in addition good manners.

In conclusion, colleges should be liable for educating about good manners as a result of kids spend a whole lot of time at colleges, and oldsters should pay for schooling prices.

Feedback

Activity Response: 5

You reply the essay query to a level however you actually need extra help to begin getting to six and above. I famous that your essay is just 213 phrases and this isn’t actually lengthy sufficient. You need to goal for the required 250, and do that by offering physique paragraph help slightly than extending your introduction and conclusion. 

Additionally a few of your help is a bit repetitive; as an illustration “they count on their kids to develop into good individuals”  then this “dad and mom count on their kids to achieve success each professionally and personally” and this “their dad and mom count on their kids to be glorious not solely at tutorial topics, but in addition good manners” are actually saying the identical factor.

Coherence & Cohesion: 5

Your essay is mostly organised okay however you do have some points extra in regards to the logic of your essay which is brought on by the way in which you might be utilizing connectors. For example “It is because” doesn’t make sense within the 2nd physique paragraph. It ought to simply begin with the “When…”.

You might have the identical drawback with “This is because of the truth that..”. In each of those instances you aren’t giving causes based mostly on what you stated earlier than. Are you simply pondering you need to give a subject sentence then a cause so you might be utilizing these phrases? Take into consideration what you might be truly making an attempt to say, then use the proper language.  

Lexical Useful resource: 6

Vocabulary is mostly okay however size is the difficulty – see the feedback about grammar beneath as the identical applies to your vocabulary.

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 6

Grammar is mostly okay – you should not have too many errors and also you present a capability to put in writing advanced sentences and varieties. It is a 6 due to the size actually. I feel if you are able to do a full essay then you could properly have the ability to get 7 right here as you’ll then be exhibiting a wider vary of language and complexity. However in fact if you’re writing extra you have to be certain this doesn’t imply you rush and make extra errors.

Band 7+ eBooks

“I feel these eBooks are FANTASTIC!!! I do know that is not tutorial language, however it’s the reality!”

Linda, from Italy, Scored Band 7.5

ielts buddy ebooks



 


Get pleasure from this web page? Please pay it ahead. This is how…

Would you favor to share this web page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on on the HTML hyperlink code beneath.
  2. Copy and paste it, including a observe of your personal, into your weblog, a Net web page, boards, a weblog remark, your Fb account, or anyplace that somebody would discover this web page precious.





RELATED ARTICLES

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Recent Comments