These are IELTS band 8 essay samples which have been given grades (of 8 or 8.5) and fundamental feedback on the rating for every standards by an skilled IELTS teacher.
Matter: Well being & Food plan (Band 8)
Some folks imagine that it’s the duty of people to deal with their very own well being and weight loss plan. Others nevertheless imagine that governments ought to ensure that their residents have a nutritious diet.
Focus on each views and provides your opinion.
These days an rising variety of persons are turning into involved about their well being and the standard of their weight loss plan. There are two diametrically opposed opinions on the matter. Some folks imagine that each particular person is accountable for their very own well being whereas others state that it’s the authorities that should be sure that the residents have wholesome consuming habits.
Personally, I imagine that individuals bear full duty for his or her diets for a variety of causes. First, these days there’s a huge number of merchandise that everybody can select from, guaranteeing a balanced weight loss plan consisting of several types of merchandise with enough nutritional vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates and fat. Everybody can steadiness their diets in keeping with these elements and likewise primarily based on their style preferences. For instance vegetarians will choose beans wealthy in protein whereas omnivorous eaters may go for meat as a substitute. Secondly, whereas governments can not significantly range of their wholesome consuming applications normally adhering to ‘one measurement matches all’ strategy, people know precisely what they want with a view to maintain match and wholesome each typically talking and when it comes to meals. We take tailor-made strategy as we all know precisely what we have to reach life, be sturdy and wholesome.
Nonetheless, others argue that the federal government is absolutely accountable for the form of meals its inhabitants devour as a result of they make choices concerning the standard of meals their nation produce and import in addition to costs. As an illustration, in lots of growing international locations folks hardly ever have entry to top quality meals, thus being pressured to decide on one thing low-cost like quick meals. Furthermore, the federal government can introduce laws just about what sort of meals may be promoted, seen for instance in lots of European international locations the place the promoting of quick meals, alcohol and cigarettes is prohibited. These measure, it’s argued, can have an effect on the way in which we eat and management the diets of the entire inhabitants.
In conclusion, whereas the governments might play a task within the selection of meals of its residents, it’s nonetheless the duty of each particular person whether or not to eat nutritious diet or not on account of many causes being that a wide range of strategies to steadiness their diets or their funds. In any case our life is in our arms!
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Process Response: 8
The query is answered and concepts are well-supported. Each elements of the query are absolutely addressed. Some elements will not be given fairly sufficient rationalization and the logic seems defective. For occasion, the assertion that growing international locations depend upon quick meals. The essay must also not finish with an casual remark equivalent to “In any case our life is in our arms!”
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
This IELTS band 8 essay pattern is well-organised with a mixture of transition alerts and a few good use of referencing and substitution. Nonetheless, there are barely too many transitions in preliminary place to get a 9 e.g. first, for instance, secondly. These have to be extra subtle. There’s a hazard with this that it may very well be awarded a band 7.
Lexical Useful resource: 8
There’s a good mixture of related subject associated vocabulary of a excessive degree, an wonderful consciousness of collocation, and loads of proof of much less frequent vocabulary. Nonetheless, there are some errors which might stop a 9 e.g. “…can not significantly range in…”.
Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 8
The author has an excellent grasp of grammar with an excellent mixture of advanced sentence and kinds, with a really excessive degree of accuracy. Nonetheless, a couple of errors persist that stop a 9 e.g. a lacking article in “We take tailor-made strategy” and “whether or not to eat nutritious diet…” and a lacking plural ‘s’ in “These measure…”.
Matter: Professionals Working Overseas
(Band 8)
An rising variety of professionals, equivalent to medical doctors and academics, are leaving their very own poorer international locations to work in developed international locations.
What issues does this trigger?
What options are you able to counsel to take care of this example?
These days increasingly professionals that play a key function within the social stability and improvement, together with within the spheres of training and medication choose to discover a job in additional developed international locations that present extra alternatives. Evidently, it creates a deficiency and lack {of professional} assist in the above-mentioned spheres. This essay will handle the issues such state of affairs causes and conceivable options to redress it.
Probably the most significant issue related to the drain of the consultants in very important areas of life is the ensuing scarcity of specialists and therefore, lack {of professional} assist for residents of poor international locations that may result in deterioration of the situations of life. It goes with out saying that it’s the work of those specialists that’s completely important for the survival of individuals. For instance, if skilled, certified medical doctors go away their poorer international locations looking for a greater life it results in a deterioration within the medical assist out there and in some circumstances even appreciable life losses and reduce of life expectancy. Subsequently, native communities and the entire society are critically affected by such adjustments within the labour market.
To redress the steadiness in such a state of affairs there have to be severe measures taken by the federal government. Appreciable funds are to be invested in these spheres to contribute to the advance of labor situations and salaries of various professionals. For instance, governments may stimulate younger professionals by paying them further bonuses for working in public hospitals and faculties or fund their training. This, in flip, will create higher probabilities to retain stuff and enhance the morale of consultants, who may select to remain of their international locations with a view to contribute to its progress and improvement.
To conclude, it’s obvious that a large number of specialists, particularly younger ones, go for working in additional developed international locations and this pattern is unlikely to vary within the foreseeable future. Nonetheless, governments can attempt to clear up this downside by allocating extra funds and make investments extra within the enhancement of working situations for specialists. Have been they to flip a blind eye to the present state of affairs, it could have a pernicious impact on their international locations.
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Process Response: 8
Both issues and options are addressed within the essay, and concepts are prolonged and supported. The concepts although in every physique paragraph may have been defined extra succinctly, offering the chance so as to add additional supporting concepts, quite than the only one that seem in every physique paragraph. Lowering the size of the introduction and conclusion would assist to realize this.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
Usually coherence and cohesion is excellent on this IELTS band 8 essay pattern however there may very well be extra selection and extra subtle cohesive gadgets used i.e. ‘for instance’ is used twice.
Lexical Useful resource: 8
An wonderful vary of vocabulary, largely used accurately and appropriately Nonetheless, a couple of minor errors persist, equivalent to utilizing ‘stuff’ as a substitute of ’employees’.
Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 8
The IELTS band 8 essay pattern total has excellent grammar, however there are nonetheless a couple of grammatical errors or the improper selections. For instance, “Appreciable funds are to be invested” must be “Appreciable funds must be invested” and there are additionally some errors with punctuation, equivalent to lacking commas.
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