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The aim of training is to make people helpful to society, not assist individuals pursue private ambitions (talk about + opinion)


IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 December 2023

This essay subject was seen in current IELTS take a look at in Taiwan.

Some individuals consider that the aim of training is to make people helpful to society, whereas others suppose that training ought to assist individuals pursue private ambitions. Focus on each views and provides your personal opinion.

In terms of the aim of training, opinions are divided as some see its major position as getting ready people to be helpful to society whereas others consider it ought to primarily serve individuals’s private ambitions. In my opinion, training ought to strike a steadiness between these two targets, catering to the wants of society in addition to the aspirations of the person.

Those that see training as a instrument for societal utility argue that it ought to produce people who can contribute successfully to the financial and social cloth of their communities. This angle emphasises the significance of equipping college students with sensible expertise and data that align with the calls for of the job market. Such an strategy is essential for the financial growth and stability of any society, as a result of it ensures a workforce that’s each expert and employable.

Nonetheless, the significance of training to particular person ambitions and private development is tough to dismiss. Advocates of this view argue that training ought to nurture creativity, crucial pondering, and private exploration, permitting people to understand their distinctive potential. This strategy not solely fosters self-actualisation but additionally encourages the event of innovators and unique thinkers who can contribute uniquely to society.

In conclusion, training ought to ideally embody each these views. By offering a balanced curriculum that caters to the sensible wants of society whereas additionally encouraging particular person exploration and creativity, training can produce well-rounded people. Their functionality of contributing successfully to their communities whereas pursuing private success and development will seemingly result in a extra dynamic and affluent society.

Instructor’s suggestions:

Total, this essay is a robust Band 8.5 instance.

Activity Response: Band 9
Your essay absolutely addresses the duty immediate, presenting a transparent opinion that training ought to steadiness societal wants and private ambitions. You successfully talk about either side of the argument and supply a reasoned conclusion, assembly the necessities for a excessive rating on this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organised, with clear paragraphing and logical development of concepts. Every paragraph has a transparent central concept, and cohesive units are used successfully. Nonetheless, to realize an ideal rating, transitions may very well be barely smoother, making certain seamless movement from one concept to the following.

Lexical Useful resource: Band 8
You display a robust command of vocabulary, with applicable phrase alternative and collocations (“financial and social cloth,” “self-actualisation,” “well-rounded people”). Minor enhancements may very well be made for an ideal rating, comparable to various your language a bit extra to keep away from repetition (e.g., utilizing synonyms for “training” and “society”).

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: Band 9
The essay showcases a variety of sentence buildings and correct grammar. Using complicated buildings is efficient and contributes to the readability of your arguments.

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